I am crazy

last night i having buffey at Yuen, which organized by Neway for Neway staff. i take a lot of stuff to eat, especially chicken, those take and BBQ. i have ate whole plate, but is ok on that day, now only i feel so not well and hot inside. i also do not know why, but at the moment, i suddent have a thought. the thought is how good if got someone here to take care of me, for a long time ago i loss those feels. sometimes my friend told there are someone sure worried about me, is that possible? i do not think so. so sad about it, i knew what you thinking now, i honestly tell you that, they do not. it is hard to tell the whole stories. haiz... what i know for the moment is that i am very ill, until sleeping on the bed and blogging now. but who care? ^^ world is so real when other found that you are useless. they will no more sympathy or smiling when you are nothing for them.

for almost a month i only informed by my mom only a moment ago that my dad has injured when he is working. today my mom call me, and told me that my dad is recovered, i sudden feel so sad and useless. as a son, it is my responsible to concern about my parents, but it is almost a month! after a month only i know that my dad injured!? so funny, all is my fault. i am suppose to take care of my parents, wish that i can finish study asap so i can take care of my parents.

Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? Yes, but and it is impossible for me to achieve it now. Knowing you had a 50 percent chance of winning and would be paid 10 times the amount of your bet if you won, what fraction of what you now own would you be willing to wager? I will take the risk of spending 25% to wager, no risk no miracle. Where is the most beautiful place in the world? is that dark hole included in this world? if not, then there is no where else. Of all the people close to you, whose death would you find most disturbing? the person who important to me. On an airplane you are talking pleasantly to a person of average appearance. Unexpectedly, the person offers you $10,000 for one night of sex. Knowing there is no danger and that payment is certain, would you accept the offer? No, cos i am not worth only $10000. One hot summer afternoon, while walking through a parking lot at a large shopping center, you notice a dog suffering bad...

today might be the first and the last time i gather with all my friend, who also staff of neway karaoke. we having supper at station one which located in subang jaya, we having a lot fun and order each person one bottle carlsberg. i almost drunk at the moment i finish it at once, but do not know why, i feel better after a moment, strange right? it have been so much fun, but i feel not so enjoy because i going to leave this community soon, because i going to stop work as part time soon. it is because final exam coming, and i need to go back hometown soon. they really is gang of good friend of mine. the never complain when i done mistake, even they help me and support me. i hope all my friend like them, even they did not study much, but i do think that they really well educated and treat people with a kind heart. our happy time running out, and i am will never forget you all. what have left is only memories. keong, the waiter is the front and the big mussle de is alan, who work at kitch...

just now i found that few meaningful sentences are written on my friend's blog " 一个人可以失去爱情, 因为当对方对你没有感觉的时候, 怎么留也留不住的.... 强求只会为彼此带来更大的伤害... 把话说开, 就算再不甘心, 再痛也是会撑得过去... 但被欺瞒, 被背叛, 那种滋味像是被人用线操空的木偶, 被人耍得团团转而已..." (Sim 2008, blog) =p it was really true about it, so i am thinking just to post it~ haha

it has been a long time i stay in this world, suddenly all thing around me become so weird until i do not know how to explain it. first, friend ignore me, betrayed me, and even worst hatred me. i feel so lost, why must the thing that i do not like the most find me and the thing i try so hard to maintain it leave me alone? why? can anyone explain to me? is that really true about if the more you protect something or someone the easier you will lose it?

nowadays, i have really busy with assignment and works. mountain of assignment and stress of working and times. mountain of assignment and the exam is just around the corner have causing me changes become more aggressive. added 1st time working has result multiple changes of my emotion and reaction. i began to lose mysel f . all my feeling and emotion changes around the environment and feeling and emotion have take over my mind, causing me done lot of mistake without realizes it. my house mate angry with me, my friend turn over me and i become hatred. is that what i want? i never have the time to think about it and just now only i realizes it was really my fault this time. i play card try to relax, but lose money and still giving those "good" face to my house mate. the most worst is dare i scold my house mate in front of my female friend and he still respect me and think on my position, i never think that i shall not do so, everyone have their own pride. i have knew it for...

sometimes, it is not the matter of teaching and helping others is troublesome to me and i am those kind of person who hate troublesome so much. actually, i will only feel troublesome when i am was busying on something and especially when someone ask for my help never appreciate me and my help. however, at lease in the world there is a person that i know appreciate me. she is too cute, until thought of paying me money and buy me a phone. to be honestly, i get affected by her interesting offering. but then, after all i reject her offer, she make me think that finally i am lucky to get free thing (haha... a bit stupid right? but thats what i think in that moment). however, the most important reason is i am not deserve her offer, i cannot help her more, not guaranty that she will get full marks. and i have knew that something from her is the most worth to reward my effort, which is her happiness. it has been normal for her unfortunate experience and sad happening, so it is hard for me when...

i had work out my 1st part time job in last week, it was on my thursday to friday. at the begining it was quite hard for me to manage the section in my responsible for the first and second day. however, on the third day i start to cooked with all the section in my work place because on the second day i am in charge for the whole section and i need to do it all by myself. since then, everyday after work i feel a bit tired, because i need to stand for about 7 to 8 hours per days. anyways, what to do? i do not have money what. XP

review about my lifestyle, and my parents or even my granparents lifestyle. i realise that i am was really selfish. i always thought from other views for those silly stuff but never thought of what other people situations. i am once again admit that i am was done a big mistake here, the feeling of proud and happyness brought me to the wrong minded. whenever i get the chance of being with handsome or pretty friends, drive nice car, and enjoy luxury and delicious foods, i would never thought that what is happening for my parents and grandparents. enjoying luxury goods life is best, but afterall it was not belongs to me. my parents work hard, save money hardly by only eat those cheap food just to afford my study and my daily lifes expenses. they save three day meal just to afford my one day expenses!!! it was my fault to being troublesome to you all. i was only realises it, i have miss the point where situation might affects people decision. when think about that it was ashame to tell tha...