I am crazy

it has been approxiamately 4 days without internet already, but for me it seems like 1 years i never online. depending too much on internet access make me uncomfortable without it existance. i only have a chance to online in library, however national day is tomorow thats mean the library will close for two more days, i wondering how i going to survive without internet access. I cannot do anything at all!!!

1: you have a lot responsible to take care of your brothers and sisters? your siblings? your parents? your grandparents? your friends? and yourself? 2: you like someone secretly who is impossible will like you? hate someone they totally do not know you hate them? 3: you think and care for someone who does not care and think for you? 4: being point finger or blame by your trusted friend yet you do nothing? 5: you force to pretending goods to someone u actually do not want to? 6: your friend only good to you when they need your help? 7: saw something you do not wish to saw, knew something that you do not wish to know? 8: given chance live longer but need to forgone the fortune in future?

this is the fouth week of my second semester, it was quite fun and boring also. do not know what i mean? well, even for myself i am also not sure. the closer you are the more confusing you are, it is because when you closer with someone or something, you will not see thing cleary because unconsiously the perspective of it force you to believe that is what you think are right. sometimes i might blame it is not fair to me, but when i think over and over again, i feel that the more i being dependant on other, i lose my mind or my own opinion on something. i sometimes might get influence by my best friends view, such as when they do not like someone, i also do the same. however, thanks to my mind, i realised my best friends not the best either my bad friend not bad at all. The advice here is my friend, never ever trust anyone or depends on others, you shall have you own view of point having you own desicion, because you live for yourself but not others; everything happens for its reason an

today is 2008-08-14 also in chinese calender is 07-14 and is thursday somemore. all is four, so good because it was my favourite number but some of my friend not really like the number of 4. the moon is red in colour [in my dream, haha] , so nice~

today is carmen birthday, wish her happy forever. actually we have celebrate with her earlier in saturday in the hakka restaurant which locate inside the sunway. after we have dinner, we actuualy plan to go neway to sing k, but failed because of they charge each person 44 that night not included tax and nuts. then we go to lunar bar, it was a sad thing that we not go in also due to reason where some of us not really interested to go in, then we drive the car go around the kl until 1 a.m in the morning only reach home. anyways, i can sense that carmen a bit strange, may be because her best friend, Queenie does not turn up [according to carmen] she feel a bit dissapointed. anyways, carmendo, start from today u older 1 more years already, must be think and view everything differently from other view lo and the most important is start think for yourself and your future lo. wish you happy forever~ ^^

bad thing everywhere and happen everydays, problems seems like fall in love with me. problems that among my friends, problems that inside myself, problems of my family and the problems of study keep wrapping me not allow me to escape. sometimes it was so hard for me even to take a breath. when only you will let me go? problems, problems, and problems.

a real world is nothing but just something so-called as "mental" events. we thought of the world present because of our minds. everything happen seems around us, but actually all this happen in our mind. if u do not believe, then can u tell me what is the world look like or what happen to the world when we are sleeping or died? human only uinderstand all of these when they are died, things are only appreciated when the time is too late, as usual the truth is cruel and only understand when the time is too late. is it logical? in Philosophy of Mind 2004, p.98, Heil claimed that " the logical behaviourist usually begins by pointing out what is perfectly true." am i? with the different feelings such as pain, happy, sad, angry and boring it make us experience lot; with the different thoughts, beliefs and religions, it enable us to keep learning from each other to live better? everything is possible with human intelligent and determination, the world only exist with huma

it was tommy's birthday tomorow, 2/8 but we celebrate earlier in today night. actually i facing financial crisis and not able to afford to go shogun for buffey. it was really expensive it costs me Rm60 for a meal??? however, i am not regret to attend the party, it was expensive but worth to eat. the food over there are very nice, and lot choices. it was a really fun party and i am wish that tommy's wish come true. [haha... even though i don know what is his wish]