meaningless?

nearly, the image of chaos that i saw on that days is disturbing my mind. it is hard to believe what i have saw, it was so terrible until i cannot forget about it till now. what does it mean? even myself also do not know about it. sometimes i found out a lot of thing, but i am still cannot identified which is true and which is false; which is real and which is fake. the more i think about it the more confusing i am. last night is the 1st time i step in to cinema, a lot of 1st time is uncountable, is that any meaning? a movie that i watch is so meaningless to me, it is one of the horror movie, but for me there are a lot of question marks here and there. i wondering, the end of the other end is more complicate or is more easy; the more i observe, i found out i knew more, but sometimes i feel that the more i observe, i found out i knew lesser. anyone please tell me what is happening around us now? the more i want to reach perfection the more i saw the weakness? chaos? confusion? and is that all end up with meaningless???