I am crazy

方向

2011-01-19T05:55:00.000-08:00

这一段时间，闷得要死了。很多东西还是不明白，另一方面却很不舍得。书也读完了，脚步总是不断的前进，却不知道到底什么才是我的推动力；只知道我一定要向前走，停不下脚步。小时候东西不懂，可以问人，问老师；现在却完全不懂要问谁了……
方向感还蛮好的我却在人生的道路上完全的迷惑了，老了吧，模糊了，看不清了……方向…………到底哪个方向才是真确的道路？到底哪个方向才是我该走的？这一条路，人生的路，万一错了就很难回首了~

2pm, Heartbeat

2010-04-09T21:53:00.000-07:00

Intro:
This is another Koreans songs that so called 'nice and fluent lyrics' as in my opinion that Koreans songs usually having some song lyrics with some 'sudden promotion' of their own singer to publicize their bands or singers? perhaps. somehow, heartbeat is a song that i didn't heard this sort of 'promotion and publication' and having such a nice lyrics.

Let's enjoy the song~

sorry cause no the actual translated lyrics, because the lyrics i get is kind of wrong define or lacking some sentences so i try modified the inaccurate lyrics and translate it. enjoy~

Lyrics:

can you feel my heartbeat
the heart that you trampled on is still beating towards you,

no matter how hard i try to forget
even when i try to meet other girls,
the moment i turn around i only thinking of you,
no matter how much i try to convince myself,it is all hopeless effort cause my heart won't listen.
why do you make my heart broken,
why am i still acting foolishly?
in my mind i can't understand why, in my heart i just doesn't know why,
i'm holding on to you and don't want to let go.
i'm still feels like you're just beside me.

i not believe in farewell, and i won't believe we done it,
no matter who i meet, my heart won't fully open, and it always keep you a place,
there's no ways you will come back, but why am i keep believe that you might come back,
are why my heart still believing? why it doesn't listen?

listen to my heartbeat. it's beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it's waiting for you
my heart doesn't i know that it's over. i don't understand why i'm like this?
listen to my heartbeat. it's beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it's waiting for you
it still hurts whenever i thinking of you.
every time my heart beats, i thinking of you.

i must forget. i have to forget in order to live on
i have to erase the memories. if i don't, i'll die
stop trying to get her back. she ain't coming
she's gone, gotta be moving on
she gone. she won't come back. she doesn't think of you.

she doesn't know that i'm waiting for her,
she's lives happily without knowing,
she already forgot about me, completely erased our memories,
why can't i do the same

listen to my heartbeat. it's beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it's waiting for you

my heart doesn't know it's over, i don't understand why...

listen to my heartbeat. it's beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it's waiting for you

i'm still pain when i thinking of you. Every times my heartbeat i remember...

my heart is beating.
my heart is beating.
my heart is beating.
my heart is beating.

Honey~

2010-03-23T01:32:00.001-07:00

I really do not know how to express my feeling through words now~ just~~~ i want to say: I LOVE HONEYS~ ^^

maple/ readings/ social?

2010-03-21T01:32:00.000-07:00

maple, maple, maple!!! cannt lvl up? TnT
readings, readings, readings!!! when only can finish? T^T
social, social, social!!! how to social? T.T

currently~

2010-03-18T00:37:00.000-07:00

时间过得真快，转眼间我就快毕业了～还记得想当多期望可以做工但现在又期待读书～世事难料～
因为最近忙得不可开交就得长话短说了，记录些难忘，可爱又美丽的回忆～

13-14 march~
在education fair 名以上是做students helper,可是却变成consultant了～很好玩也很高兴能认识那么多难得的朋友，auntie，和一个知心朋友～原来人也有好的一面，却令我内心产生了矛盾……
auntie 呢就说多希望有个像我那么懂事的孩子，可是我想说难道要比看谁比较乖吗？孩子在父母的心中总是不懂事的不是吗？可是却还是很渴望他们能更好～就是这样的啦，人嘛～总不会满足总不会珍惜的～
知心朋友难寻，我看到的却不是我想要的，人总有看错人的时候～想不到他的朋友才是我想找的人～我觉得有点可惜因为分开前我却没跟他说过一句话，可是也很开心因为还能认识他与他挥手bye bye还能保持联络呢～ ^^

15-16 march~
天天迟睡就为了那些无聊的readings 还得我行尸走肉的～还得我朋友还以为我emo ～ == 好心啦，本大爷emo 都是为了那个傻傻的readings～

17 march
天啊，我傻到去死读article 就是为了明白他，还得睡不够， test的时候写了一半shan lung竟跟我说可以看纸做的，真的气死我了！！！
上课blur blur 的 presentation 时自己都不懂自己present 说什么，老师就说： class, listen~ start from next week, whoever group with this guys must let him be the one to present for the whole sems!!! 哇靠，冤枉啦～我并没有那么差啦，只是还睡不醒不懂怎样present而已啦！！！随便啦，真金不怕火，present 就present 咯～才没怕过～～～

18 march
救命啊～要我拿3个不懂的journal article 来写 1 页而已的discussion，怎样哦？ 1页够我画画哦？那么少～～～可是读的时候就拿我的命了！

nice drinks

2009-10-21T06:30:00.002-07:00

the best drink i ever drink before~ do not know what is it? no, this is not a mineral water, but a lemon drink. the original lemon drink i have drink it >u< it was so nice, so i put in water to make it again [so desperate for it] but the taste was totally different from original one. i am seriously like it, because it was made by someone for me, i am so appreciate it because she made it for me and the drink was so nice. ^^ it brighten my day~ thanks u so much~ can i have some more? >U<

星期四

2009-09-24T17:36:00.000-07:00

今天是星期四，这已经是第四天在文东了，因为星期日我和家人去五叔的家在Port Dickson。在那儿，全都很开心尤其是那些小孩子，可我觉得没什么好开心的，或许我已经不再是那调皮坏蛋的啊耀了，或许经历太多了有点累了，也觉得日子很无趣。人总是很矛盾，很虚假，我说我没感情了，没有任何希望了；但我自己却时常为了些小事耿耿于怀，说却总是希望着什么。我常常中说自己没得救了，不想在现实留下任何关于我的痕迹，可是我去拚命的做得更好希望有人了解我，希望有谁会珍惜我。我望着窗外，回忆起一些往事，可是发现原来我得开心事是如此的少，期待着……我到低期待什么？我……到底想怎样啊？很可悲对吧？现在连那个从我回来那么久都不要下雨的天空竟然都下起雨来了，这是说它也同情我吗？或是想告诉我会有奇迹的？

=[

处女座

2009-06-25T06:31:00.000-07:00

处女座表面上快乐开朗，其实心里多半比较痛苦。他们似乎可以轻易地忘掉昨夜痛彻心扉的哭声，不知不觉地进入第二天乐得合不拢嘴的状态。处女座的痛苦多来自于家庭的不合和在友情、爱情上的失意。处女座表面上可能会给人小气自私的形象，但实则是不了解他们的人的误识。他们如果显得很小气的话，也许是因为他们的极其慷慨曾招来些对自己的伤害，因此他们在找到　一个真正他们认为值得一交的朋友，而那个人也对他无半颗私心前，只能是被自己天生的心软、善良牵制着，畏缩地给予别人帮助，以致于形成小家子的假象。唉~~~~
处女座的友情：，他们渴望精神上的交流、内心世界的彼此了解，他们视友情为达到这一目的的最不可缺少的途径。处女座很少有向亲人吐露心声的机会，因此，朋友在处女座眼中更是显得尤为重要。而交上处女座的人也绝不会吃亏，但处女座的人一生却很难得能遇到知心的朋友，这也就使处女座的人的心事不断的积压下来，久而久之，他们很少向别人透露自己的心事，这种痛苦源于他们需要一个100%的纯洁友情。当处女的朋友又搭上另一个人时，他们只会沉默，用拼命工作之类的事情来麻木自己，掩盖自己的寂寞和失落。庆幸的是处女座是一个非常和平、不记仇的星座，他们不会为此对你进行报复，即使为之，那份量也是微不足道的。因此作为处女的朋友，如果俩人的确是难得知己的话，最好你应该花大部分时和处女座者相处去让他们明这一点，而不是莫名其妙地甩下他们又搭上另一个人。
处女座的爱情：处女座的爱情多被定义为内向、害羞。而我却不这么认为，他们内心其实很狂热，而且由于他们在为人处事方面的IQ低得要死，甚至完全可以是像《一吻定情》中相原琴子一样的人。由于他们不轻易表露自己的痛苦，整日被张笑脸笼罩这，活泼的形象会浮现于他们爱情世界的表面中。处女座的我行我素作风是因为处女座会认为他们本是为寂寞而生，没有人能真正了解他们。自己认为对的事他都可以去做，不屑别人的非言非语，继续表面快乐的生活。而当仰望着朗朗星空时，处女座者却是一个伤感者的角色，他们爱听悲伤的音乐、喜欢广阔的东西，诸如：浩瀚的星空、无垠的沙漠和大海。这时，微微凉风掠过，处女座甚至会觉得这才是人生做到的享受，
处女座的人会沉淀白天对爱情的一股傻劲，着实地看清现实的爱情，不免一阵唉声叹气，这时你会惊讶地发现平日蹦跳不停的处女座也有安静、忧郁的一面。在爱情上，处女座的人既有古典保守的一面，也绝对有开放、爽朗的一面，处女座的人大都有很高的文化道德修养，对一些凡尘俗事能够坦然对待，纵然那个最受伤的人是他们自己。处女座的人情绪变化不太稳定，他们善解人意，能够短时间内进入不同的状态，这可能就是人们俗称的神经质吧！
处女座的爱情观也可能会陷入矛盾中。是因为他们豁达的人生观，他们会认为爱情重在曾经拥有，不求一世拥有。甚至可以拥有很高的更换异性的频率，他们会认为人生苦短，应多领略些异性的风情万种，他们很理智，会把爱情作为生活中调剂品，而非全部，让他们过早得迈入结婚礼堂也多是不太可能的。而另一方面正是由于处女座的极其理智，他们怕受到生活中多余的来自爱情的伤害，他们也会有另一种可以成仙的极端的爱情想法：终身不沾上爱情，拥有友情就已足够了。处女座的人很现实，他们很少有信爱情这东西能天长地久的，他们视之为肤浅荒唐。
处女座的性格很平静，多愁善感，他们身上有很多洁白无暇的优点，如果处女座的人形成一个社会的话，那将是名副其实的乌托邦。但可悲的是他们的这些优点似乎很不合现在这个社会的潮流，他们被称为不懂人情世故，也正是如此，处女座的人的优点只能是被这个污浊的社会给淹没了。
处女座的人外貌上看去清爽，他> 们的眼睛大都不是很大，但很有神，嘴也不大，但很精>> 　　致，笑起来时，哈哈哈，他们的嘴可就不小啦--！哈哈哈……处女座的时间观念是：来得早不如来得巧，他们认为来得早时剩下的时间完全是没必要的浪费！处女座的人多半很幽默，而且非常谦虚，不爱到处张扬，除非心血来潮时。处女座的人一生大都较坎坷和不顺心，他们生活的条件和机遇总不是和他们浓烈的人格魅力成正比。他们很不自信，再加上他们淡然处之的作风使自己在一人走路时显得忧心忡忡，很冷静的样子，不过可恶的是，不了解他们的人说那是耍酷.
处女座宝贝有很高的艺术欣赏水平，他们非常具有审美观，所以对一些事往往要求也很高，但表面漂亮的异性也是可以吸引处女座的！处女座多半对钱较重视，这个很怪，而往往很少得到钱的也是他们。处女宝贝们在某些方面很聪明，他们对365行都有天赋，只要一入门都能熟练掌握，这可能都归功于他们很高的悟性吧！不过如此全能的人，在择业问题上还是个不小的困难呢！处女宝贝们不太重视衣着外表，他们很实际，认为我有内在还怕什么外表差，不到衣服破得实在是不能穿时，他们是很少去购衣的,除非心血来潮时.

simple post, my lovely invertebrate and went to Fraser Hill.

2009-06-15T06:00:00.001-07:00

yesterday i came back Bentong, and i saw a new species of interesting new invertebrate that i never see before. then at the afternoon we go to Fraser hill, at the journey going there i am the driver but when coming back i felt tired and my dad be the driver, and then half way my brother say want to drive then he get what he wished. run out of time to revision already, let the see the picture.

the weird invertebrate with head of ants, mouth of spider, legs of cockroaches and body of centipedes.

anyways, i do not know what it is but according to it's shape and it's specific organ and outlook, i guess it is somehow ate cockroaches and should be no harm to human.

see, for me it was so interesting and perfect, hope can feed it. but my parents not allow, and need to revision for exam no time for research it. what a waste, i scare i cannot find it anymore. sad...

shops at Fraser hill, before it should be lot shop at here, but it still in renovating so i do not find any thing to buy here anymore.

another renovating houses?

view of the top of waterfall in Fraser hills, very nice view.

view from front.

view from bottom, according to the tourist, they do not prefer to swim because the time is late about 5.30 and the water was cold.

when going back to Bentong we found some monkey beside the road. when we stop aside, it stand up for us to take photo, so cute~

it look at the camera~

happy till dancing with a whole bread in it's mouth, because we feed it.

however, lot more we miss out to take photo, because they are other types of monkey and birds. all of them is so beautiful and pretty, but unable to take the picture of them because they are too shy and hide when i take out my handphone? somehow, it was a nice journey even though no gift to buy, nothing special to view, but the air is totally clean and unpolluted.

Happy Belated Birthday to Boon Hua.

2009-06-13T08:15:00.000-07:00

on some day of year 2008, we became friend. it was so important you know, i know it was hard to get a friend. thats why, i hope that it was a joy for you to having your birthday with meand others. thus, tung boon hua, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to you! i really having fun in your party and learn what the feeling of drink whole tin of beer once [totally not same with wine, so lot gas make me feel like too full until wanna vomit.] it was satisfied me, luckily i choos the right decision to celebrate with you, if i go back hometown on thursday sure i will regret it. because, back hometown can be anytime, but your birthday really one year once only. haha... Happy Birthday o~ keep on working hard by yourself for what you want, hope that you will more independant as you grow older..? and good luck for you final also ya~

special post for darius la.. and going back bentong study hard.

2009-06-13T08:06:00.000-07:00

sorry darius for spell your name wrongly in previous post, as it was because i am having short term memory lost what, u knew that right?

one sem once, finally i get the got chance and reason to go back bentong. tomorow i will going back to bentong for a few day trip to study hard perhaps in relax mode. wish that what i plan is going well. however, i still feel tha what a waste for me because unable to go back teluk intan. sad case, anyways sad thing always have happy events as a companion. may be afterall it was a good for me, who knows? and i will miss your guys, for those only miss me also. haha, it was not easy for me to throw all my responsible at subang for a moment, but i do not want to the responsible become my burden, i wish it will be my philopsophy. miss ya~

action is more powerful than words.

2009-06-09T08:33:00.000-07:00

some might thought that a word of 'sorry' can cover all the fault they have done, do you really think that 'sorry' is so strong to convience someone that u will not repeat the action again? then i would like to do the same also, 'sorry' sorry not everything. i knew, some feel guilty only say sorry to make themself feel beter. instead of saying sorry but never change; i prefer action taken even though no sorry given. if you knew you are wrong then prove your awareness with action, change the way you behave become better. so do i, i perhaps sometimes most likely to say sorry but it is for all those small cases. in big deal, i would not likely to say sorry because i knew what i did was wrong but i too shy and ashame of myself to say sorry to your all. i will change myself, but i still need to say sorry here, to all those my friends because of my misbehave and stupid action. you want scold me just do it, i will accept it for what have i done. it was my responsible of what i have done, but if you never tell me what have i did wrongly i afraid i will not realize, thus i hope that if anything you just tell me and do not worried how i feel. i will feel glad bacause you correct me of what i did wrong and i know you do that is for my own good. thanks you~ some person who really did comment me before and i appreciate it, i will change my way. ^^ thanks de yang, christina, yee teng, kah weng and darious. you may be forget what you comment me, but i will not forget and i trying hard to change it. i know you just do not want me loss myself, thanks you o~ ^^

stupid me!

2009-06-09T08:22:00.001-07:00

this week i m rushing to finish all my revision, but now only realize that i got one more week time to revise. it was because the final exam is start on 24/6 but i misthought that next week is 24/6. once today my friend told me now is 9/6 then i began feel weird, then check my phone's calender. and the first reaction of me is: Oh My God!!! i totally believe that next week is final exam, but the truth is i got one more week! how stupid am i. haiz... anyways, it make me more suffer because the final come late and the period i need to suffer had extended...

Final Exam is just around the corner~

2009-06-08T08:27:00.000-07:00

next week is our [those taking unisa course in taylors] final exam le, here to wish good luck to all of us~ wish that we all can handle the exam well~ Gam Ba Teh for revision lo, those who have not start revise, now is the time! +U +U~ ^^

teluk intan... so sorry to u...

2009-06-05T01:44:00.000-07:00

nowadays keep busy with some sort of assignment which as known as DSM assignment. it is an assignment that i do not know what to write and what to do. almost whole week reading about all those economy stuff feel like out of the tracks for the DSM [derivatives and securities market] assignment. have no idea how to do, so need to stay at subang to do it! it was shit! one year once i go back teluk intan, but i had miss the chance. feel so guilty because not fulfilling the responsible as a grandson to go back visit my grandparents. I am so hate to being irresponsible, really HATE! but who understand my feeling? go college, always i m the first one say hi to others but noone would say hi to me at first except for some friends. when others chat, the words they talk to me only is hi and bye nothing else. some even more selfish, always seek for me only need helps, if nothing then i m invisible. there are different of them, some are when i ask for their help (not always wei, you thought i m so likely to find u if i really no choice!? and i know u done, if don want help just tell la, i wont kill u or suicide wat!? don know what is called honest to friends? or i m not friend of anyone of you all also?) , they did help, help to advise me say: "sorry o.. i m also do not know how to do, i m haven done yet, perhaps u go ask teachers?". got another would be 'better' come ask me how was i doing say wanna help, but afterall when telling them what my problems they talk lot shit and then blame me do not understand and leave me (halo eh, if not willing to help don ask people either need help or not la, waste both of our time and it was really FAKE somemore, i tell u if i really cannt stand for it, i scare one day soon i will just tell u to %^*& off!). going school, some are very nice, but some are very bad, got also some in the middle who are really fake. am i doing something wrong? or i m too 'yang shuai' then u treat me like tat?

Don't anyone of you understand me? even for those i close with, do you think everyday i am so happy because i smile and joking always? do you know what problems i facing now? do you know what happen to me before? do you know what i feel most of time? why don't u all try to view thing base on others view but not ur own will? everyday, i am so sad, so stress, so lonely, feel so fake, doing all the thing i don like and so hatred to face those who i don like but need to smile at them pretending myself so happy, pretending i like u all. SORRY, I M ADMIT THAT I M SO FAKE ALSO! BUT WHAT TO DO, IF I AM NOT WHO ELSE WILLING TO FRIEND WITH ME! I M SO TIRED TO BEING OTHERS, WHAT I DID WRONG? IS THAT WHAT I OWES YOU ALL!???

TnT...

i really don want to hurts anyone, just i m really hide a lot in my heart. noone i trust and i duno how to say it out. i m trying to say some of it out here, if not i really will get crazy soon. why no one understand me? TnT........

interesting bottle~

2009-06-02T08:44:00.000-07:00

last two or three day before, tommy and carmen move to new house [actually can consider old house also as where tommy did stayed there before] however, i wondering how come tommy got such a huge amount of stuff can fit in his previous room but cannot fit in in his new room which is bigger than the previous one. it was exhausted to move all those stuf, but there is an interesting stuff i found out at the 99 speedy market view the picture~

do you realized that? the water PH is 9... i do not is it true, but quite interesting that got such PH of water sold for customer...

Happy birthday to Rachel~

2009-05-28T23:31:00.000-07:00

on 28 may, with princess, patricia, rachel, tommy, carmen, deyang and huisan go watch terminator salvation, the movie was quite nice. somehow, we having another plan for rachel at night. Rachel, first of all i wishes you enjoy your special 'birthday celebration' prepared by us which is celebrate earlier as you need to go back johore on your actual birthday~ here is the photo~ rather than i speak, i think better let the photo speak. hope it was one of your nice memories~

the ticket of terminator salvation~

Rachel's Cake, very delicious o~

still need to do assignment when outing~

Leng lui gang~

i like this picture the most~

and lastly, once again wishes Rachel enjoying the birthday celebration by us~ stay pretty o~ ^^

my pretty nails~

2009-05-27T03:34:00.000-07:00

It is a blur wednesday morning, i woke up at 7.50a.m with a thought that i going to late for my DSM lecture, then prepare myself get to college and reached by 8.35 a.m. however, i realized that there was no lecture, it was so ashaming. after having my BCB tutorial at 10 to 12, i saw li min gangs at mezz floor then i mar try 'color' my nails, it was quite interesting and touching cause li min, miera and fei ling [sorry ya, if i speel ur name wrongly feel free to inform me if there are mistake~] help my with it. at first all my nails is so colorful and atract others attention ^3^ but then they help me to remove some, and left some. here it is the final, and now its still on my nails~ hehe~

see the dark red color and black color on my right hand's nails~

for my left hand, there are orange and pearl color, nice isn't?

thanks you girls~ thanks for helping me~ haha~ it was nice and i like it~ ^^

answer for li min's tag~

2009-05-23T00:59:00.000-07:00

Assignment whole week, i think may be soon i will fall in love for assignment, but definitely not now. have been long time never log in to edit my own blog, because nowadays need to accompany my dear 'assignment'. so now only realized i m tagged by li min~ hehe~

1. Besides your lips, where is the favourite spot to get kissed?

sorry, noone wanna kiss me lol~

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?

sleepy..

3.Who was the last person/people you took a photo with?

i forgot le.. i very seldom take photo..

4. Would you consider yourself spoiled?

depends on situation, perhaps?

5. Will you ever donate blood?

definately, if i m not low blood pressure...

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?

definately, YES!!! quite lot...

7. Do you want someone to be dead?

i have no right to wish someone to died or curse others...

8. What does your last text message say?

i m eating now.. sorry for late reply~

9. What are you thinking right now?

answer for this question...

10. Do you want someone to be with you right now?

ofcourse... but impossible...

11. What was the time you went to bed last night?

2.40am

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?

i m topless now.. =.=

13. Is someone on your mind right now?

Yes..but i assure you, she don know about it.. i tell u, but hope u don tell her... cos i scare after u tell her, she come tell me, and i tell u... she... is a GIRL!

14. Who was the last person who text you?

Li Bing~

TEN Lucky Person to do this quiz...

1. Li Min

2. Christina

3. Queenie

4. Carmen

5. Tommy

6. Kher sim

7. Everlyn

8. Mun Yi

9. Yee Teng

10. De Yang

15. Who is no. 2 having a relationship with?

ofcos her bf la..

16. Is no. 3 a male or a female?

she is complicated.. with female personality... may be male attitude? lol.. don kill me.. just joking...

17. If no. 7 and and no. 1 get together, would it be a good?

impossible, and totally not good! =.='''

18. What is no. 1 studying about?

may be marketing and finance, hehe... forgot to ask~

19. When was the last time you chatted with them?

1. wednesday

2. thursday

3. have been long time... cannt rmb

4. is tat chatted in msn consider? if yes, then is yesterday lo

5. thursday also i think..

6. yesterday

7. last week

8. thursday

9. Long long ago

10. he don want talk to me.. =.='''

20. Is no. 4 single?

no..

21. Say something about no. 2.

uncertainty...

22. What do you think about no. 2 and no. 6 being together?

again.. impossible.. =.=''

23. Describe no. 9

kind~

24. What will you do if no. 6 and no. 7 fight?

ask them stop la ofcos!

25. Do you like 8?

there are several type of like, which type of like 1st???

Sometimes, stress is bad, but actually it is the one make us independent...

nice song~

2009-05-16T02:44:00.000-07:00

i just found out there is a new song, by BY2. a strange name for them, they are a twins and a singer as well. i get to know them because that i heard their voice is sounds alike to one friend of mine, princess~ don't those who knew princess as well realize that? anyway, listen to the song ba~

Think / Thing?

2009-05-09T05:41:00.000-07:00

Something. what is something? is it a thing? or a thought? everything exist because we can think, something happen and become something because we think something so and understand it. what something become if we cannot think? is it still exist? we think, thats why got lot of thing such as happines, laptop, friends and all other things that exist in the world. thing can be material, feeling and nothing it depends on what we think. even there is nothing, but it is still something exist at, in with nothing. do you understand what i think? if you do not, please do not think too much or u will be crazy like me also. thing, is a think and without think there is nothing.

interesting test result from facebook which i think true about me?

2009-05-07T01:32:00.000-07:00

Test 1:

Stevon 已參加 你是神明,妖精,惡魔或是天使? 測驗，結果是妖精

你這一生可說是人的木偶，天天都是比一些面目可憎的人的委託，做你多麼不頁意的事，心裡永遠有說不出的憎恨。

Test 2:

Stevon 已參加 你外表容易給人什麼假像 測驗，結果是很聽話、很老實、很乖巧

但實際上相處之後，才知道你原則很多，很多規矩是不能打破的，跟別人相處時，是有很多地方是不能牴觸的

Test 3:

Stevon 已參加 性格测试 測驗，結果是害羞个性

你是一个害羞的人. 当处在人多的场合时, 你便感觉不自在. 你常会觉得你身心不一. 或觉得自己生错了时代. 你实际上比你看起来要聪明很多. 但是, 你为了不想让别人知道这点, 所以你将自己的外表打扮成愚蠢模样. 你大概是属于深藏不露的人. 你有一颗可以容纳很多想法的‘心’ 可是也因为你有太多想法, 所以你的思绪常堵车你拥有艺术方面的天分你喜欢的音乐类型是: 描写爱情、为爱情伤心、失恋的歌你喜欢的电影: 铁达尼号总有一些时候, 你宁可待在家里享受一个人的自在也不愿去面一些讨厌的人们看来丘比特曾经开过你一场玩笑! 有人曾伤过你的心!

i had taken these three test, and i found it quite correct about me.. but the last test i did not copy the last sentences cause it is not accurate. haha...

my cute speakers~

2009-05-02T10:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my parent brought me to my 2nd uncle's house, which allocated at Puchong. it was interesting that my dear cousin brother gave me cute stuff, something like transformer can change form. i like those stuff the most, thanks u dear cousin~

Before it transform, it is a box.

ten ten ten ten, and now it become speakers already. Cool right?

Nice MV~

2009-04-29T21:51:00.000-07:00

yesterday, before i slept i had listened to a song and watch it's MV which introduced by Evelyn~ it was really nice~ ^^ so i upload it and share with you all at here~ enjoy the MV~

Study Break~ killing ants!!! and stuffering for assignments..

2009-04-27T03:11:00.000-07:00

On 25th april, saturday i came back to bentong, pahang

where has been my hometown since i m was about 3 years old. i often been asked by my friends, why don't i just come back every weekend since the journey just take approximately less than 2 hours with public transports, didn't i feel homesick, and lot such kind of question. and i am home now! yeah~ see my happiness? never mind, just forget about it. but since when i am back, i faced some problems where my lovely locker where kept my 'treasures' are becoming ants home!!! oh my god... at the moments i checked my locker, due to the reason where the ants is extremely huge in amount and too terrible so i did not take the photo, so it won scare you guys [impossible you ask me to take each photo of its right? to been fair to others ants] so i only took the photo after i 'took care' of them~

The place where ants use to live before~ where the ants goes? of cause, it shown that my efficiency and effectiveness of what i have done, whatever leftover just the ants poison. keke~

since about 70% of the ants which survived from the ants poison, 69% of them i put my locker under the sun and died then 1% which still survived from ants poison and sun burn, i 'reward' them a new house to live [the spider web~ a new home for them is... spider's stomach perhaps?]

please do not said i am cruel, perhaps you should think why the ants want to take away my locker and causing all my collection lose their home? this only part of my stuff, got lot more. [private and confidential] wakakakaka~

lot assignments to due with, is this a study break or an assignments week?

Sorry..

2009-04-25T01:33:00.000-07:00

sorry for no new posts for my blog, actually there are some events i have not post up yet, so there are new posts yet. the first big events will be hui san birthday events, we had celebrated with her on 11st and 12nd of april. the second big events is mak birthday, for the 1st year he is one of my important friend, and he is such a nice guys to me, due to some reason he cannot make celebration on the 'day' of him, so we celebrated it on the second day.
however, because i get no photos for these posts so i have not updated my blog yet. sorry if u thought that i not going to posts,even though i may not be able to posts it, but it already became part of my memories. all the fun we had together, all the trouble we faced together, and all the memories of all my gang, i will not forget until the last breaths. God Bless You All~

Happy Birthday to Joycelyn~

2009-04-16T09:29:00.000-07:00

Joycelyn,
Happy Birthday o~
Sorry for because no present for you, because this month i overbudgeted already. haha, hope you can forgive me o. i am here to wish you happy always as the Joycelyn i meet and all your wishes come true o. ^^

am i wrong?

2009-04-09T03:49:00.000-07:00

lately i realized that i keep complaining others people, but i know i should figure what have i done. in what way, i am totally no ideas about what have i done, so i wish to ask for my friends help. my trusted friend, i am here kindly to seek for your help, would you all for those who viewed my profile to comment me on anything that you all do not satisfied about me? just anything? behavior? personality? study? mistake that i have done? please, be honest to comment me all, please do not hide anything from me. i will feel hurts if my friends did hiding from me, it showing that i cannot be trusted by you all. please, i swear i will not angry or not happy with any comment u have made, i will be accept it happily, thanks u~ ^^
Friend Forever!

emotional?

2009-03-12T04:55:00.000-07:00

new semester start, i have already 20 years old and enter my second years degree. starting of third semester making me feel nervous and lost. everyone start to have their own dreams to achieve, choosing different ways. and i am the one stand still at the same place, am i missing someone? not willing to let go? or i am just do not know where should i go? No, since i am was form 4 i have planned my future well, i can definitely confirm where i should go and what i going to do. Correct, i have already understand that each semester forward, it become more difficult and confusing. however, i knew i am weak and helpless even though how much i have done. life never easy for me, but every times when i feel depress and tension i would make myself feel better by assuming that might be someday soon i am the most successful among all my friend, it sounds funny. but it really make me feel better, because i know it was really funny and i cannot ignore this joke! families, getting older and supportive; friends, getting further and independant; me, getting lost and worst.

Happy Birthday to Christina Lim and Jo Ann o~

2009-02-15T03:57:00.000-08:00

Christina & Jo Ann,
sorry o~ may be a bit late,
and i am just realized i do not have your picture to post here, so paiseh, hope you will forgive me.

Anyways, i am here to wish you
Happy birthday to you both o~
wish you both happy forever~ ^^

情人节

2009-02-14T16:22:00.000-08:00

情人节，
到现在我还是不明白他的含义。
回想一下，
我活了20年，
过了整整20年的情人节，
人都长大了，
思想成熟了，
朋友都说我学习能力好，
可是我怎么学也学不懂情人节的含义。

写了那么多，连我也不懂我要写什么？我只是纯粹的想整新我的部落个还是要写情人节的含义？好多好多的疑问，好多好多的烦恼，想写也写不出，是因为从来没谈过恋爱的关系吗？所以才写不出情人节对我来说是什么？还是因为我不懂怎么爱，珍惜？等失去了才明白失去什么吗？

我……到底在想什么……

或许我该先放下这个问题，想不通就待会儿想并不是忘了它[de yang]。也许这样做会好过些。

情人节哦，因该是开心的节日，我不快乐就好，别人是应该快乐的所以就将所有不快乐的给我一个人承担吧，世界才会平衡嘛~或许我还不是时候庆祝吧。但是我还是要祝福你们全部情人节快乐，一定要好好珍惜你的另一半哦~人常常都会失去了才后悔，所以就的珍惜~

new year?

2009-02-05T23:33:00.000-08:00

new year has passed, i miss lot of things such as the tension of studying, having assignment? and some of the fun together with my gang of DJ and friends. however, i also miss about my family and grandparents also. most of them seems older, i am also start worrying are their health. am i emo-ing now? i also not sure, as people the more you think you understand something or someone, the more you not understand it or them. the conclusion that i learn from my pattern pattern DJ Yang is great success come with great sacrifice. Thanks man~

1st time baking.

2009-01-18T06:14:00.000-08:00

Chinese new year just around the corner, my mother also busying on making biscuit. i am always the one 'testing' her cookies. but this time different, since i have promised my 3rd auntie from father side, so this time i had to keep my promise and the cookies need to make by myself. firstly i thought it will be difficult, cause i am those kind of person do not stand on dirty stuff especially those work will make my hand dirty. however, i have done it with my mother helps. And it is looks a bit ugly but is very delicious. first, prepare 300g flour, 200g planta, 50g 'serbuk' sugar and 2 spoon small chocolate chips. then? [my secret recipe, ask me if wanna try to make. haha] here is the picture, my cookies not pretty but delicious.

just finish putting chocolate on it.

my cookies~

anyways, my brothers heard that i am baking so he also do some, but his cookies look nicer and prettier. only can blame that i am not creative enough. he did orange and strawberry flavour cookies.

my brother's orange flavour cookies and some half orange half strwberry cookies.

his strawberry flavour.

look nicer than mine. T.T

and look prettier also. >.<

cookies~ yummy~

happy, blue and bored holidays.

2008-12-10T22:49:00.000-08:00

last monday Queenie, hui san and de yang come to visit me, it was really so suprise to me. however i did made them dissapointed, because i am was so stupid and unable to handle the situation well. it was my fault, as bentong people i do not know much about it. then i go back to melacca at saturday and i reached there on about 5 hours journey. it was not fun at all when going back because the day keep raining and spoilt my mood. however, today i have come to de yang house to stay overnight we will celebrate de yang and mun yi birthday together. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DE YANG AND MUN YI O~

finish finals, going hometown, where internet access not available

2008-12-01T01:10:00.000-08:00

after we do our best in finals, it have come to holidays. 3 month holidays, it is a lot. 3 months time can use to be finish 1 semester. however, i going back to my home and i need to survive 3 months without any internet access again. disappointment are filling my heart now and follow by boredom soon.

busy on revising and playing

2008-11-13T08:50:00.000-08:00

final exam is only less than 48 hours from now. however, i am still on relax mood. a few day passed, i have promised to teach my friend and help in revision but after all i do not think i help much. it was because lot unexpected factors and i had sick. just feel like want to faint and flu. it was strange that i totally not stress at all with final exam especially i got one final public relation assignment to due within 36 hours. i am lost myself i think.

friends

2008-11-10T08:30:00.000-08:00

attention!!! this is not an article about who i do not like, it is about who am i.
in my lifetime, i have a lot of friend, they all have their own way of thinking and belief.
it is highlighted here, in the real world, there are none of us are wrong, it is just the matter how u accept their way of behaves.
some of the criteria i do not like about some of my friends:
1. those who action come before thinking
2. backstabber
3. blackmailer
4. selfish-er
5. trouble maker
6. friendship "user"
7. rights abuser
8. copy cats

it is common, because i believe most of us do not like to have those kind of friends. and it is unavoidable and cannot be ignore that i also have few of my friends, is so. but i will never reject to be friend with them, i have try to change them, but it seems like no influence at all. at the moment, i will only choose to avoid them and less contact with them just to self-protect.i have no choices it is because once upon a time, i experience it. i hurts lot. do anyone know the feeling, when you are still about 14 years old, but when you need help, cares and love and there is noone there for you neither your parents nor your friends!!! at the moment, i was totally lose hope on human beings, and knew that there is no one to be trusted and depends. what i want, problems i occur, i will always get and solve by my self.
however, there are still some of my friend i meet is nice, who are:
1. appreciate me
2. trust me, and share everything with me no matter they were sad or they were happy
3. serious with me and less over joking with me, because i am those kind of serious person i cannot hold for those over limited jokes, i will not accept it
4. those same thinking of me and able to discuss their way of thinking and beliefs with me
5. polite and respect theirs friends.
6. like me?

s not meant to talk about someone else or praise someone else. it is just about what i think for some of my friends. and i hope those who appreciate our friendship would mind about what i have wrote. i am not critic you but just hoping you to be changes, it is not for my own goods. i mind about my friend and i did appreciate you all so i only wrote this, if i do not mind why would i wrote this? (like i care?) it is to make sure others would not reject you to be their best friend. hope you all can understand, it is not a must to changed yourself, i knew it was hard, but at lease improve yourself.

after all, there are another importants thing i wish that all my friend can comment me and point out all my bad or what you do not like about me to let me know. i knew i am have always done mistake and i never knew what happen so i hope you can just tell me honestly what i have done wrongly and what i shall not do so i can work it out. i really not mind so please comment me honestly without hiding anything from me, i am will glad if you do so. because i will know who did cares about me and hope the best from me. thank you. friendship forever.

buffey = sick?

2008-10-30T06:32:00.001-07:00

last night i having buffey at Yuen, which organized by Neway for Neway staff. i take a lot of stuff to eat, especially chicken, those take and BBQ. i have ate whole plate, but is ok on that day, now only i feel so not well and hot inside. i also do not know why, but at the moment, i suddent have a thought. the thought is how good if got someone here to take care of me, for a long time ago i loss those feels. sometimes my friend told there are someone sure worried about me, is that possible? i do not think so. so sad about it, i knew what you thinking now, i honestly tell you that, they do not. it is hard to tell the whole stories. haiz... what i know for the moment is that i am very ill, until sleeping on the bed and blogging now. but who care? ^^ world is so real when other found that you are useless. they will no more sympathy or smiling when you are nothing for them.

my dad injured!!!

2008-10-28T07:57:00.001-07:00

for almost a month i only informed by my mom only a moment ago that my dad has injured when he is working. today my mom call me, and told me that my dad is recovered, i sudden feel so sad and useless. as a son, it is my responsible to concern about my parents, but it is almost a month! after a month only i know that my dad injured!? so funny, all is my fault. i am suppose to take care of my parents, wish that i can finish study asap so i can take care of my parents.

answer for christina~

2008-10-27T21:46:00.000-07:00

Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
Yes, but and it is impossible for me to achieve it now.

Knowing you had a 50 percent chance of winning and would be paid 10 times the amount of your bet if you won, what fraction of what you now own would you be willing to wager?
I will take the risk of spending 25% to wager, no risk no miracle.

Where is the most beautiful place in the world?
is that dark hole included in this world? if not, then there is no where else.

Of all the people close to you, whose death would you find most disturbing?
the person who important to me.

On an airplane you are talking pleasantly to a person of average appearance. Unexpectedly, the person offers you $10,000 for one night of sex. Knowing there is no danger and that payment is certain, would you accept the offer?
No, cos i am not worth only $10000.

One hot summer afternoon, while walking through a parking lot at a large shopping center, you notice a dog suffering badly from the heat inside a locked car. What would you do?
I will just break the window? who care?

Someone very close to you is in pain, paralyzed, and will die within a month. He begs you to give him poison so he can die. Would you?
i will reject him, and say it is not the time for u to died yet.

What’s the dumbest purchase you’ve ever made?
toys and game.

Name the most terrifying moment of your life so far.
erm... when all those 'things' surround me.

Would you seek revenge against someone who had harmed your child? Would the type of crime have a bearing on your decision?
depends, i wont but i will teach my child to be independent and revenge accordingly.

The major newspaper headlines for tomorrow will be about you. What would you want them to say?
better don't.

Name three experiences involving a pet or an animal which you will never forget.
i don remember anymore.

Through a computer error, you receive an overpayment on your paycheck. Do you report it?
no, if i report, other also wont so why must i report?

What are your feelings about killing a handicapped child at birth?
feel nothing, who care? human always like that what.

What do you like best about your life? Least?
i like all my belongings the most, but like myself the least.

What do you think is the most important invention of the last 100 years?
dunno

What do you wear when you sleep?
cloths.

What has been the biggest disappointment in your life?
whatever mistake i have done.

What has been the worst sexual experience of your life?
sorry, never so i dunno.

What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? Is there anything you hope to do that is even better?
achievement? haha, i never achieve anything.

What is the most personally embarrassing thing you can imagine?
being embarrassing in front of the one i care?

What is the most romantic present anyone has ever given you?
never.

What is the most romantic song or music you’ve ever heard?
dunno.

What is the most useful gift you’ve ever been given?
erm... nothing, cos all what i want, i will get by myself. in additional, i am less given gift by others. haha.

What is your most treasured memory?
no.

quite part time soon.

2008-10-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

today might be the first and the last time i gather with all my friend, who also staff of neway karaoke. we having supper at station one which located in subang jaya, we having a lot fun and order each person one bottle carlsberg. i almost drunk at the moment i finish it at once, but do not know why, i feel better after a moment, strange right? it have been so much fun, but i feel not so enjoy because i going to leave this community soon, because i going to stop work as part time soon. it is because final exam coming, and i need to go back hometown soon. they really is gang of good friend of mine. the never complain when i done mistake, even they help me and support me. i hope all my friend like them, even they did not study much, but i do think that they really well educated and treat people with a kind heart. our happy time running out, and i am will never forget you all. what have left is only memories.

keong, the waiter is the front and the big mussle de is alan, who work at kitchen.

tom with jeff

jeff was tired but still on playing his psp

keong wanna eat but i have take his picture, the leng lui behind is our cashier gigi and peggy is playing her ais cream? ...

peggy still playing her ais cream, (actually is stir la.) and gigi enjoying her drink.whole gang of us.

gaming time, need to clear the plate >u<
playing blocks? who cannt hold the blocks, drink whole bottle carlsberg at once... @.@

nice definition~

2008-10-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

just now i found that few meaningful sentences are written on my friend's blog
"一个人可以失去爱情,
因为当对方对你没有感觉的时候,
怎么留也留不住的....
强求只会为彼此带来更大的伤害...
把话说开,
就算再不甘心,
再痛也是会撑得过去...
但被欺瞒,
被背叛,
那种滋味像是被人用线操空的木偶,
被人耍得团团转而已..."
(Sim 2008, blog)
=p it was really true about it, so i am thinking just to post it~ haha

my hard time~

2008-10-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

it has been a long time i stay in this world, suddenly all thing around me become so weird until i do not know how to explain it. first, friend ignore me, betrayed me, and even worst hatred me. i feel so lost, why must the thing that i do not like the most find me and the thing i try so hard to maintain it leave me alone? why? can anyone explain to me? is that really true about if the more you protect something or someone the easier you will lose it?

action come before thinking? regret? but it was too late... a scar will never recover, just like a broken class never join back.

2008-10-18T08:23:00.000-07:00

nowadays, i have really busy with assignment and works. mountain of assignment and stress of working and times. mountain of assignment and the exam is just around the corner have causing me changes become more aggressive. added 1st time working has result multiple changes of my emotion and reaction. i began to lose myself. all my feeling and emotion changes around the environment and feeling and emotion have take over my mind, causing me done lot of mistake without realizes it. my house mate angry with me, my friend turn over me and i become hatred. is that what i want? i never have the time to think about it and just now only i realizes it was really my fault this time. i play card try to relax, but lose money and still giving those "good" face to my house mate. the most worst is dare i scold my house mate in front of my female friend and he still respect me and think on my position, i never think that i shall not do so, everyone have their own pride. i have knew it for so long, but why do i let my emotion and feeling take over me and forget about it? it really hurts deep to my house mate, i feel so guilty. it was my bad!!!
sorry to my housemate and friend, i am really not to mean so. i will not avoid the responsible of what i have done, it was really my fault. sorry once again and for thousand of time, it was really my mistake. i do not know how to make you all forgive me, because of my stupid and idiot behavior. thanks for my housemate scold me and bring me back, darkness really make people lose themself. if you not scold me, i might still think that i was right forever, but it was not. however, i am really sorry for what i have done. i know that our friendship is important to you, but i always abuse it and take it easy. sorry is seems to be too late. i have no right to ask for anyone to forgive me since long ago, but deep inside my heart, you will be always my best freind. hope you all will forgive my behavior and tell me whenever and whatever i do wrong. SORRY...

friend of mine.

2008-10-17T09:42:00.000-07:00

sometimes, it is not the matter of teaching and helping others is troublesome to me and i am those kind of person who hate troublesome so much. actually, i will only feel troublesome when i am was busying on something and especially when someone ask for my help never appreciate me and my help. however, at lease in the world there is a person that i know appreciate me. she is too cute, until thought of paying me money and buy me a phone. to be honestly, i get affected by her interesting offering. but then, after all i reject her offer, she make me think that finally i am lucky to get free thing (haha... a bit stupid right? but thats what i think in that moment). however, the most important reason is i am not deserve her offer, i cannot help her more, not guaranty that she will get full marks. and i have knew that something from her is the most worth to reward my effort, which is her happiness. it has been normal for her unfortunate experience and sad happening, so it is hard for me when i am observed that when one of my friend being bullied, insult and sad. as the exchange of my help, i request her to be happy.

my dear friend, do you know that it is sad if you friend in trouble and you cannot even help them. i wish to be rich, get all what i wants and wish, but there are many things in this world is not only about the materiality value? it is about yourself, the thing that hard to get always is the most valueable for yourself. a meal, some money, or a phone is not the matter of our friendship, it is about how you appreciate my help and i knew that you do. thanks for trusting me and appreciate our friendship. ^^ wish you happy always.

1st part time job

2008-10-13T06:53:00.000-07:00

i had work out my 1st part time job in last week, it was on my thursday to friday. at the begining it was quite hard for me to manage the section in my responsible for the first and second day. however, on the third day i start to cooked with all the section in my work place because on the second day i am in charge for the whole section and i need to do it all by myself. since then, everyday after work i feel a bit tired, because i need to stand for about 7 to 8 hours per days. anyways, what to do? i do not have money what. XP

mistake

2008-10-05T08:18:00.000-07:00

review about my lifestyle, and my parents or even my granparents lifestyle. i realise that i am was really selfish. i always thought from other views for those silly stuff but never thought of what other people situations. i am once again admit that i am was done a big mistake here, the feeling of proud and happyness brought me to the wrong minded. whenever i get the chance of being with handsome or pretty friends, drive nice car, and enjoy luxury and delicious foods, i would never thought that what is happening for my parents and grandparents. enjoying luxury goods life is best, but afterall it was not belongs to me. my parents work hard, save money hardly by only eat those cheap food just to afford my study and my daily lifes expenses. they save three day meal just to afford my one day expenses!!! it was my fault to being troublesome to you all. i was only realises it, i have miss the point where situation might affects people decision. when think about that it was ashame to tell that i have done wrongly once again, by ignoring others current situation and making all those selfish decision. sorry to my dear parents and grandparents, i admit that, it was my fault but i swear i will correct my mistake and being the perfect one in the world.

raya week

2008-09-23T20:59:00.000-07:00

next week i am having mine 1 week break also can be considered as half sem break, study in business university is not an easy matter especially they are specialty in calculations and materiality (even holiday also need to calculate so accurate to maximum our study hours). however, the raya week still need to enjoy as my break and as one of the bigger festival which celebrate in Malaysia. on the other hands, i need to enjoy my holiday and celebrate raya with a mountain of assignments, which due on the week after my break. it is the sadness thing, when got holiday you cannot enjoy it at all, thats university life.

Great suprise!!!

2008-09-12T08:57:00.000-07:00

it was 12 september today, a suprised that i never expected from my friend. they have planned perfectly this time, it really give me a shock. Boon hua ask me to go his house cause my apartment do not have internet, and i ask for Hui san companion to help me in doing Quantity method assignment and she promised will come. after class, Boon hua say he want to cut his hair first before he go home, then 1 hours later Hui san say she do not want to follow le. at the moment i feel hopeless for my Qm assignment. anyways, 3 p.m something boon hua only go home, and firstly reach his house, i found out that mun yi came boon hua house already and it make me feel better cause i almost forgot that she got told me before to come boon hua house. at the same time, i did not realise that Queenie's car exist also until boon hua told me. Suddently i feel what a relieve. then after about 15 minute later boon hua ask me to cover my eye, and come to dining space and he ask me to open eye, and OMG! the whole table are foods, at the moment i get stunned. it was so suprised, anything stop at the moment, i feel so touch and honor, because Queenie, mun yi and hui san prepare the lunch for me. @.@... so touching, it was so delicious esspecially the spaghetti and the sandwish. that's not all, after the lunch we go play mahjong, and sing k, and about half hours later boon hua turn off the light then brought in the cake. once again, i get shocked. Oh my god, luckily i do not have heart attack, it was so many suprise for me. the first time, i feel so happy and shocked so many times in one day. i am really appreciate you all, what you have done for me, SPECIAL THANK YOU TO QUEENIE, MUN YI, HUI SAN AND BOON HUA. BEST FRIEND FOREVER, SSTQM!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!! ^^

better birthday for this year~

2008-09-10T22:56:00.000-07:00

it was much more better my 19th birthday compare as before, it was the first time so many friend of mine wish me happy birthday. even though they do not give present but i am really feel so happy this year with their wish come from deep of their heart. however, sometimes i am still awaiting someone that special to me greed me with special way, atlease let me have a look at her. human was always greedy, when they get more they will still wish for more. i am still remember that last time i am so envy those who got people celebrate their birthday with, and i was so hatred with them. it is because when i say i am jealous with them but they told me that it was nothing and they added say present is important. i get stunned, wondering what the thing they are thinking? is that material is better than the heart? why a teenagers nowadays became so realistic and materialistic. however, i am was really happy that my friend wish me and some are celebrate with me, even though do not have much present or those luxury goods but i am really appreciate it. Thanks you my good friend so much, till the end of my life i will never forget those who treat me nicely without hoping any return from me, who is so poor, dumb, stupid, and useless. thanks you all so much.

no internet again?

2008-08-29T19:05:00.000-07:00

it has been approxiamately 4 days without internet already, but for me it seems like 1 years i never online. depending too much on internet access make me uncomfortable without it existance. i only have a chance to online in library, however national day is tomorow thats mean the library will close for two more days, i wondering how i going to survive without internet access. I cannot do anything at all!!!

what u think? what will u do if it was u?

2008-08-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

1: you have a lot responsible to take care of your brothers and sisters? your siblings? your parents? your grandparents? your friends? and yourself?

2: you like someone secretly who is impossible will like you? hate someone they totally do not know you hate them?

3: you think and care for someone who does not care and think for you?

4: being point finger or blame by your trusted friend yet you do nothing?

5: you force to pretending goods to someone u actually do not want to?

6: your friend only good to you when they need your help?

7: saw something you do not wish to saw, knew something that you do not wish to know?

8: given chance live longer but need to forgone the fortune in future?

belief

2008-08-22T03:27:00.000-07:00

this is the fouth week of my second semester, it was quite fun and boring also. do not know what i mean? well, even for myself i am also not sure. the closer you are the more confusing you are, it is because when you closer with someone or something, you will not see thing cleary because unconsiously the perspective of it force you to believe that is what you think are right. sometimes i might blame it is not fair to me, but when i think over and over again, i feel that the more i being dependant on other, i lose my mind or my own opinion on something. i sometimes might get influence by my best friends view, such as when they do not like someone, i also do the same. however, thanks to my mind, i realised my best friends not the best either my bad friend not bad at all.
The advice here is my friend, never ever trust anyone or depends on others, you shall have you own view of point having you own desicion, because you live for yourself but not others; everything happens for its reason and purposes.

hehe

2008-08-14T06:41:00.000-07:00

today is 2008-08-14 also in chinese calender is 07-14 and is thursday somemore. all is four, so good because it was my favourite number but some of my friend not really like the number of 4. the moon is red in colour [in my dream, haha] , so nice~

carmen's birthday

2008-08-10T21:56:00.000-07:00

today is carmen birthday, wish her happy forever. actually we have celebrate with her earlier in saturday in the hakka restaurant which locate inside the sunway. after we have dinner, we actuualy plan to go neway to sing k, but failed because of they charge each person 44 that night not included tax and nuts. then we go to lunar bar, it was a sad thing that we not go in also due to reason where some of us not really interested to go in, then we drive the car go around the kl until 1 a.m in the morning only reach home. anyways, i can sense that carmen a bit strange, may be because her best friend, Queenie does not turn up [according to carmen] she feel a bit dissapointed.

anyways, carmendo, start from today u older 1 more years already, must be think and view everything differently from other view lo and the most important is start think for yourself and your future lo. wish you happy forever~ ^^

bad day

2008-08-07T08:42:00.000-07:00

bad thing everywhere and happen everydays, problems seems like fall in love with me. problems that among my friends, problems that inside myself, problems of my family and the problems of study keep wrapping me not allow me to escape. sometimes it was so hard for me even to take a breath. when only you will let me go? problems, problems, and problems.

world? minds? are interelated?

2008-08-03T20:05:00.001-07:00

a real world is nothing but just something so-called as "mental" events. we thought of the world present because of our minds. everything happen seems around us, but actually all this happen in our mind. if u do not believe, then can u tell me what is the world look like or what happen to the world when we are sleeping or died? human only uinderstand all of these when they are died, things are only appreciated when the time is too late, as usual the truth is cruel and only understand when the time is too late. is it logical?

in Philosophy of Mind 2004, p.98, Heil claimed that " the logical behaviourist usually begins by pointing out what is perfectly true." am i?

with the different feelings such as pain, happy, sad, angry and boring it make us experience lot; with the different thoughts, beliefs and religions, it enable us to keep learning from each other to live better? everything is possible with human intelligent and determination, the world only exist with human, in human mind. and the rules of world is to reach balance; human create a world and they also the one going to destroy the world soon. good side of human are always balance with the bad side of human.

tommy's birthday

2008-08-01T19:51:00.000-07:00

it was tommy's birthday tomorow, 2/8 but we celebrate earlier in today night. actually i facing financial crisis and not able to afford to go shogun for buffey. it was really expensive it costs me Rm60 for a meal??? however, i am not regret to attend the party, it was expensive but worth to eat. the food over there are very nice, and lot choices. it was a really fun party and i am wish that tommy's wish come true. [haha... even though i don know what is his wish]

start my second sem.

2008-07-29T01:35:00.000-07:00

wake up in 7 a.m, and i prepare to go college. but my first lecture start at 10? haha... i play maple first till then Boon Hua call me at 9.20 a.m then he fetch me to college. anyways, in lecture hall i am was excited at first, but then i turn up to sleep at half of my lecturer lecturing something we learned before? ok, it was quite good for morning class, but for the next class is my public relation lecture which held at petaling campus and it is 3 hours and 30 minute from the time i done with my lecture. it was suffering when the weather so hot and end up with some accident that the one suppose to lecturing us for public relation lecture absent and we wait innocently for 30 minute. what a "good" starting for my second sem.

处女座终极完美分析

2008-07-24T04:17:00.000-07:00

都说处女座另类，双重性格，甚至有点神经质，其实原因只有一个，处女座的一切都要随自己外显的性格而转，姑且称之为'状态'。处女座状态好的时候，可以将自己聪明、细腻、能干、温情、幽默、有内涵等优良品质完全外展，此时他们显得如此完美，光芒四射，并且可以表现得非常外向、健谈，容易与人打成一片（这本非他们的性格）。而一旦处女座状态不好，便会变成另一个人，甚至非常窝囊，一事无成，不过通常此时他们都躲避外在的干扰,所以让人感觉有点间歇性自闭症)

因为同为水星守护，所以处女和双子一样善变，但双子善变的是心思，处女善变的却是情绪。很多时候处女座要面对很多实际的琐事，这时的处女座便不得不在冷中面对周围世界：要么说话做事很不自然，有做作的痕迹；要么便极度冷漠和被动，对谁都不理不睬。其实处女座很清楚自己现在的样子，但他们无力改变和控制自己的情绪，只能选择疯狂地逃避一切。他们想的是：与其很不自然地面对你，尴尬地和你说些无关痛痒地话，或是因和平时反差太大而被人说成表里不一，性格怪异，还不如先躲一阵子，等调节好了以后再出来。所以，在与人交往中，他们只会和不得不交流的人（实在躲不掉）或是完全陌生的人（反正无所谓）交谈，而和熟悉的朋友反而疏远。所以.你在他心中地位越重，他躲得你越远。特别是恋人.

而且,大家都知道处女座的人有严重的完美主义倾向,所以就有了所谓的“处女座的人最喜欢若即若离”。原因很简单：他只想给你一个最好最完美的自己，而不愿让你看到他无助脆弱的一面。所以请记住，有时处女座对你冷，绝不是你说错做错什么，这是他们正常的生理现象，他们只是不想让严寒和冰霜伤害了你（可事实上这种做法已经伤害）。不必难过，因为他们在乎你的话，他们的内心比你还要难过、自责和内疚！他们所能做的，只希望快点调整好情绪，回到你的身边。正基于以上两点，处女座有时便会表现出非常另类的行为和思维模式。

他们的性格也很多来源于此：不喜主动，不善交际（也可以热情，只是今天热了，终有一天会冷的），不爱表现，不喜抛头露面（万一哪天情绪无法把握状态不好时，岂不大失脸面），诸如此类。关于'洁癖'并非处女都有洁癖，很多处女座并不爱干净，但却要求整洁，他们更多的是井然有序，不喜欢别人破坏他们所整理和布置的'完美' 格局。处女座更多的是有精神洁癖。一旦触碰到他们精神上的禁区，严重时会表现得歇斯底里。

关于'花心'一般说来处女座绝不花心，忠诚是他们的代名词。异性关系多很可能是他们需要确定一个好人缘和自己有魅力，来反击那些普遍观点。一旦找到心中真爱，他会呵护你一辈子，只要你能给他安全感，他永不背叛，心中眼中唯你一人。寻花问柳，红杏出墙这些事与他们绝缘（一是责任感所致，二是怕麻烦）。

关于'聪明'不似双子灵活机巧，不象水瓶创意非凡，也不是天蝎的那种计画周密，处女座更多体现的是智慧。细腻、理性、好学加上十二星座里一流的洞察力和最强的逻辑思维能力，处女座想不聪明都难。没事少在处女座面前信口开河，随意撒谎，很多伪纱他们一眼便能看透；也别跟他们玩什么心计，你玩不过他们的。处女是那种可以把你卖了你还得向他道谢的类型。没事也少跟处女座辩论，他们没理也可找出理，甚至找出不止一条理来。处女是永远不会吃亏的。

关于'单纯'处女座很纯真，但绝不单纯，他们内心复杂得让人难以想象，很多不经意的事可能都是他们精心布置的。处女座也总在纯洁和好色之间徘徊，这一点最难说清。不过他们真正的内心是极其善良的，宁可自己苦也不愿伤害任何人，心灵如水晶一般晶莹剔透。

关于'幽默'都说处女座冷若冰霜，缺乏幽默。多和他们接触吧，你会体会到什么是冷幽默，什么是真正的幽默，而并非品位低俗的搞笑。

关于'迟钝'别看你和处女座说某些提议时他们半天才反应过来，在你说好的一瞬间，他们脑子里可能已经转过五六个你这项提议会造成的后果通常是消极后果）了。他们总是想得太多，绝非想得太慢。

关于'自私'处女座的自私觉不是狮子的那种惟我独尊，也不是水瓶的以自我为中心。处女座正因为是无私的，所以显得自私。（能够理解吗？）因为处女不想伤害任何人。

关于'逃避'由于处女座性格上的因素，他们通常会显得压力很大。当周遭的事物已无法掌控，或是自己的情绪无法调节好时，他们会疯狂地逃避，堕落自己，这种状况通常对别人无害，却是伤害自己，让所有爱他们的人感到心碎。不过不用太担心，过一阵子他们自己会好的，他们天性的自我批判精神很快便会起作用。处女座一般不会彻底堕落，堕落前可能都已留有余地，只是在等待着希望的来临。甚至有时堕落都是做给别人看的。

关于'内涵'处女座有涵养这一点是肯定的。在成长中不断吸取教训，不断学习，取人之长来丰富自己的内涵。因为他们感觉到情绪无法把握，而这些是自己可以踏踏实实做到的，将来一定有帮助。这是他们所追求的完美主义目标。处女座就是一个表面神秘到难以琢磨，说穿了却又很简单的星座。最接近神的人？可能吧，处女座喜欢这样来标榜自己。因为他们确实有超凡脱俗的一面。他们的内心接近了神，可是身在这个世界，不能不食人间烟火吧，所以必须得戴着一个面具活。

在这个世界上。处女座喜欢和人说些暧昧的话，对心仪的对象却不好意思表白。处女座希望别人了解自己，却又只将能公布的那一部分对外展示。处女座是最有责任感的人了，可很多时候却害怕承担责任。

reference from:

Email from Queenie

internet not accessable?

2008-07-20T18:41:00.000-07:00

3 days already, my house internet access get blocked because noone going to pay the last 5 month internet fees? that is not my responsible, suppose is another housemate of mine to pay it. however, within these few day i am really suffering a lot. and one more problem that made me hatred is my roomate, i do not know how to comment about him. he is really annoying and childish everytimes, he is so troublesome, irresponsible and so on. whenever talk to him, i am also lazy to having such a stupid conversation with him. sometimes it is so hard to communicate with some people, because of their self-centered, selfish, irresponsible behavior. is that possible because i have some really good friend? everything happening around us seems to interrelated with many different and complicated ways by balancing each other at the same time. perfection is so hard, and it is almost impossible if as what the assumption said, perfection is impossible in these world which seek for balance. there are good people, and there are bad people, males and females, stupid and clever and etc? everything is seems to have their own "partner". the reality is always cruel for us to accept. the friend of you may not be the real friend of you; the friend you trust the most might not honest to you at all. [wait wait wait, seems like i am go too far haha... ] anyways as the consequences, i am planning to go back hometown again? may be for 3 to 4 days. thanks for my friend help me plan these boring holiday. ^^ (friend is hard to find, but easy to lose)

petaling street- Nice!!!

2008-07-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

early in the morning, rain heavily but it did not stop my desire to go Petaling street with my SSTQ geng. (haha... funny but nice~) at first, Boon hua come and fetch me to carefour to park his car and we take ktm to kl sentral and then we walk around kl sentral to search something for buy. Boon huua have brought a pefume, then we wait Queenie and Hui san to reach. after that, we take monorail to petaling street and i have find out a lot of interesting stuff, unfortunately i do not have enough money to buy all, but i have learned a lot at there. there are a lot of different kind of people with different behaviour, it was really nice when observing their behavior. then we heading to sungai wang, i behave like the fly which lost the direction but luckily got "gps" (Hui san) then we reach safely. when on the way going home, i just remember that we have left something at petaling street, all is my fault because i suppose to remember it before we heading to sungai wang. ( a bit sad because my misleading and bad memories but it was really nice experience)

a "vacation" to my hometown: Bentong

2008-07-14T23:27:00.000-07:00

friday, i back to my hometown, Bentong. the first time i back after 3 month? homesick? it is a good question that a lot of my friend asking me when talk about Bentong. i going home not to cure or recover from whatever that call homesick, i am going home is just to make sure my parents still in good condition and to let them have a look of how i am was changing. i am not actually those kind of emo person (sometimes) at the moment never expect me to behave childish to say that i miss my home or whatever that is the way i am. i wish someday they will be someone to understand me. the last word from me, "it is really hard to pretend someone other than yourself"

happy day~

2008-07-08T22:09:00.000-07:00

with Queenie, Boon hua and Hui san go sunway and watch movie in afternoon. we then going Queenie's house to park Boon hua car and play with Queenie's "cute" car, me and Boon hua enjoy a lot with that car. [haha, when i driving i speed up till Boon hua tears out] then Queenie fetch us go kajang to eat satay. it was the first time i eat Kajang's satay, it really nice.

假期。

2008-07-04T10:27:00.000-07:00

wow, today was really my lucky day. i go sing K with my friend, it was really nice, and special for me? anyway, this was not the first time but it was really nice because only me, Queenie, Boon Hua and Hui San [the first time Neways provided each mic for all of us, but it keep no batery...=.=]. we all having a lot of fun, take a lot of picture also. after that we going to have a walk at Subang Lake [take picture again... >u<]. and lot more activities, but i lazy to mention all because i am lazy. Haha...

Final Exam Done!!! Luxury And Relax Life?

2008-07-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

Finally final exam is finished!!! This time is the first time that i feel not happy after exam, do not know what reason. When all this happened i am feel like nothing to do and lost. I knew it was mean that i seems like live to exam, to be honestly i admit the other personality is live for this purpose. Sometimes i am not even know what should i do. During the exam period as in exam week, i spend most of the time at Boon Hua house, i revise, revise and revise. Life seems so meaningless for me. However, within this period, i have think about how to earn lot of money. It started when i jogging with Boon Hua around his housing area, and i found out that all the people live at that Kota Kemuning Hills is so rich. They are richer than what i have imagined, i wondering how to become like them, how i only able to be same standard with them? Another me is so desperate to become like them and can be do anything just to be like them.

Boon Hua Birthday.

2008-06-11T09:42:00.000-07:00

11st of June is Boon Hua birthday, we had give him a lot of supprise. Early morning, me, bh's friends and bh go Little Taiwan have our lunch, then when we finish and going to leave, at the same time Princess bring a cake which brought from Secret Recipe and celebrate with bh, he really supprise. After that we go to library to do revision, and i am playing Maple. [Too Ego...XD] At the night, bh's friend said want to have dinner with him and Mun Yi, then Mun Yi ask me to join. At the moment, i am feel like a bit strange and on our way walk to TBS [bh's friend fetch us thr, but change location cos she take wrong way] me and bh saw Tommy, Mak, Carmen and Hui San at Tommy's hostel, then i thought they prepare the gifts to bh [ a Billabong cloths which we buy last month] and the thing i wondering is when they will only give the gift to bh? But then i do not want to think much about it because a bit tired, due to reason i am only eat bread for my lunch at Little Taiwan. Then we meet bh's friend, and go fetch Mun Yi. Then when we reach the destination, i am only know that they all planed to give supprise to bh, and i am only know at that moment. And i am... speechless... i know totally nothing about it... really supprise to me also...
Anyways, Boon Hua, Happy Birthday To You!

Oh My God, why accuracy so high?

2008-06-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

What Siah Tiong Yao Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

You Are From Pluto
You are a dark, mysterious soul, full of magic and the secrets of the universe.You can get the scoop on anything, but you keep your own secrets locked in your heart.You love change and you use it to your advantage, whether by choice or chance.You don't like to compromise, to the point of being self-destructive with your stubborness.Live life with love, and your deep powers will open the world to you.
You Are From Pluto
You are a dark, mysterious soul, full of magic and the secrets of the universe.You can get the scoop on anything, but you keep your own secrets locked in your heart.You love change and you use it to your advantage, whether by choice or chance.You don't like to compromise, to the point of being self-destructive with your stubborness.Live life with love, and your deep powers will open the world to you.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatplanetareyoufromquiz/

You Are 80% Psychic
You are so very psychic.But you already predicted that, didn't you?You have "the gift" - and you use it daily to connect with others.You're very tapped into the world around you...Just make sure to use your powers for good!

http://www.blogthings.com/areyoupsychicquiz/outcome.php

The Best Saturday.

2008-06-08T05:52:00.000-07:00

Wake up early in the morning, prepare to go library to do revision with Boon Hua and Hui San. However, few minute after wake up Boon Hua call me said he might be late then i go library at 10 but it was public holiday, so embarrased. When i am going back i meet BH at ground floor of library he told me that is ok, he will go my house to play DOTA 1st. He added that 12 he will go Sunway Piramid, he will bring me also and introduce me a friend of him and HS, who also a best friend of Carmen. It was unfortunately for BH cause he accidently hit something, but he manage to clean the track [of course not totally].

Then the interest part is the first time when i meet Queenie, the first image of her to me is that she is mature, cool and nice. She bring her sister with her that time, but when get with her for longer time i observe that she is controlled by her sister. Firstly i shy to talk and only observing them [BH,HS and Queenie] but then do not know the reason, i began to talk with her. After finish shooping, [i had finally buy the bag i wish to own] then we go Pangsapuri to play water [only me and Boon Hua, HS and Queenie did not join us because they don have cloths to change]. On the way to Pangsapuri, Queenie manage to meet Carmen and Tommy, it was nice that saw them meet each other after a period that they never meet.

Instead of playing water, we also have discuss about what to do when we free or holidays. We have decided to go Gasoline to have our dinner. Firstly we go Queenie's house to park BH car, Queenie's house is so pretty everyone like her house's environment. We have loss but with our mobile 'satelite' Mak and 'gps' HS, we reach our destination that place really nice. It looks like Genting but one advantage that it have but not Genting is that there have a such beautiful night view of the K.L, I really like that place so much.

After finish our dinner, when we on the way to Queenie house [because BH car park at her house and car pool to Gasoline] we loss again. And as my observation, Queenie is really those person not easy to panic, even though we on the high way that we totally do not know where is it, after miles and miles it only have a row of light [seems like there is no other way to go out and it is endless road]. About half an hour later, we found a junction to exit the current road, and we have reach Putrajaya, which is the center of politics. It have so much pretty building structure. Queenie stop on the bridge at Putrajaya, it was so pretty and we have a visit to Putrajaya. The road is so complicate and the building is so unic, i am really do not know how to described the view it is really really pretty.

Finally we reach Queenie's house, BH and HS cannot go home because it was late already for them to go home. Then we decided to stay overnight at Queenie's house, and we play 'mahjong' [i am do not know how to play, and i learn... hehe, it really fun]. About 12, me and BH feel a bit hungry and Queenie cook 'maggi' noodle for us [it was delicious, and touching]. We have bread and milk also after eat the noodle because we still not really full. Then Queenie take out a bottle of Martell or Vocha to mixed with 'coke', something like that i am also not sure because i am think i have drunk after drink only little, i am cannot really remember what happen.

On the sunday morning BH wake me up at 8 something and we leave Queenie's house, it is really sad thing for me to leave her house. Anyway, i am embarassed to be troublesome. I am think that i am really bring a lot trouble to my friend [so paiseh because i am useless and always be a burden to you guys]. I am feel so thankful to have you all, let me experience so much. Last night really nice, it was the first time i stay at my friend house, the first time i see the night view of K.L, the first time of play 'mahjong', the first time of so touching and be the first time so enjoying with my friend. I am really so happy.

i love my body.

2008-06-06T17:59:00.000-07:00

After suffering for 2 days, with my body swelling 150% than my normal size, i have finally recovered. Thanks a lot to my friends, dad, uncles, and my laptop, who support me when i am was sick. Because of the illness i cannot sleep well for 2 days, and because of my body swelling bigger, some part of my cuts are spilt into two and body and skin is pain. However , i am feel very happy that i not need depends on any medicine to cured and it was nice, even some of my friend who taking injection and medicine still haven recover yet.

sick or punishment?

2008-06-06T07:44:00.000-07:00

last night, i got a strange illness which looks similiar with allergy, but in white color version it become more serious when i going to sleep. in the midnight of thursday, i am totally cannot sleep because of this illness, it feeling like burn my body, itchy and pain. the feeling is more worst than anything, i am think go hell better. but it give me a brief image how i will look like when i become fat, i looks more handsome [hehe...to be honestly quite handsome de lo]. may be it just simply of sick, or it might because of something else, such as punishment or curse.

meaningless?

2008-06-03T07:45:00.000-07:00

nearly, the image of chaos that i saw on that days is disturbing my mind. it is hard to believe what i have saw, it was so terrible until i cannot forget about it till now. what does it mean? even myself also do not know about it. sometimes i found out a lot of thing, but i am still cannot identified which is true and which is false; which is real and which is fake. the more i think about it the more confusing i am. last night is the 1st time i step in to cinema, a lot of 1st time is uncountable, is that any meaning? a movie that i watch is so meaningless to me, it is one of the horror movie, but for me there are a lot of question marks here and there. i wondering, the end of the other end is more complicate or is more easy; the more i observe, i found out i knew more, but sometimes i feel that the more i observe, i found out i knew lesser. anyone please tell me what is happening around us now? the more i want to reach perfection the more i saw the weakness? chaos? confusion? and is that all end up with meaningless???

Assignment done!!!

2008-05-28T17:24:00.000-07:00

Atlast, no more assignment for this sem, but then i need to get prepare for this sem final exam. 3 more week to go, i thought just a while i enter 1st sem, who knows it will end up soon. It was true that everything have weakness, i discover the weakness of all my "geng" member. Although one of them is mr nice guys i also knew what his weakness. haha... However, i am still hope our friendship will not end forever. And, good luck to you all [ofcos me also la... >u<] for the final exam. No! is good luck for everything what we do. ^^

Loss Direction.

2008-05-25T06:06:00.000-07:00

Finally, most of the assignment are duel. Wake up at 8 am, but sleep back till 10.30. After a series studying of the guideline for ADA assignment, i am still cannt get what it want, especially when i refer to the template B it make me more confusing. I am feel totally lost in somewhere that i do not know where is it. From morning until evening i am still duno what have i done for the whole day.

Stress.

2008-05-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

What can i do? Nearly I am so stress of my assignment, total requirements are at lease 6000 words assignment need to due on the same day. OMG, all due in next tuesday. Sorry to my dear friend, today because I am was too stress I be cool. Sorry ya, Eng Sim and Phang. Please forgive me... I am really cannot hold more longer. Wish that everything end faster.

Comparison.

2008-05-12T09:42:00.000-07:00

Just finish my group assignment part for comparison between the issue and text. At the same time during i doing my power point, I am comparing my life last year and current year.

Last year I am always stick with my house mate, it was not because of I like my house mate it was just because I do not like my course mate. My course mate are so realistic, and i do not like the way of they treat people, it was so fake and self-centered. They only will treat u nice and with u only with condition when u are useful to them and they need your help.
Compare with current year, I am feel so relieve. It was because that I have meet my current course mate. I am will not admit that they are 100% nice and kind, sometimes they might do something we never expect, but for sure that they will ever never purposely treat us not good and be worse than my last year course mate.

And this current year I have began to keep a distance with my house mate, because they are not as good as my true friends [current course mate]. I remember last time I am no mood to play with them and a bit upset, but when I come back and they start critic about me. Ok, That's fine because they know nothing. Then I tell him I am not feeling well and emotion not stable today, but they do not care about me, keep critic and making fun of me.

The conflict happen, at that time I am seriously want to kill him, I am can but I will not. Because I know I am adult now, no more children and should be mature and rational, then I am start ignore him and ask another house mate accompany me play game to distress. However, when my another house mate ask about how to play, i give suggestion and that hatred guys scold me some more [he sitting beside the house mate who play game with me, who never answer when people asking only critic people after another people give suggestion]. So I am really can not hold on for that longer, then I scold back terribly said : You better shut up, don't you know that you are noisy and annoying!? People not asking your opinion, why you answer!? When people asking why you don't want to answer then only critic other answer!? If you so clever then answer people before other people answer la!?
And then he very angry scold back me: What the fuck with u? people only "giving correction" with slow voice, why u scream at me!? Then he leave, I am keep ignore him. About 2 minute later he still dare come out from his room scold a lot of rude word and said I am the one wrong he did all right.
At the moment I am determine that never to friend with this sort of friend, so nonsense and over limit. He is the one wrong even other house mate also knew that but he still dare to scold me said is my fault !? Who he thought he is?

Is ok, this is not the first time i meet these kinds of people. What can i do? Kill them? I am think not worth for me to pollute my hands with those idiot's dirty blood. Still have a lot of experience that none of those same age or generation with me had experience what i have been before, I am think. And I am also lazy to mention cause i do not like backstap other. Just aways remember that whatever and however you do not want others to treat you then you must not treat them like that.

Sing K

2008-05-08T09:37:00.000-07:00

I am leave lecture hall during the break time because I am think that it was pointless. Then i go library to meet Boon Hua, and wait for Hui San, then we go to have our breakfast. 1 o'clock we go sing karaoke [Boon Hua, Hui San, Carmen, Tommy, Mak, Victor and Jordon]. It was so fun, we back at 7 p.m. I am feel so happy today. However, I am feel like a bit weird, just like something bad will happen. It was true, somehow my house mate pour water on my phone, laptop, and pencil box. Luckily my laptop survive, but my phone spoil already. Feel so sad, i loss all my friend 's number. T.T...

Happy Day.

2008-05-07T23:41:00.000-07:00

Just finish my lecture for marketing, me and Carmen go find Tommy, then we have lunch together. At 3 p.m we have our Managing Communicating Business [MCB], I pass by notice board at fifth floor and realized that I am really get lucky draw for the career talk last time, actually my friend told me yesterday just I do not believe them.

After MCB tutorial class which end up 30 minute early than normal because of our tutor are sick, and we go to Mid-Valley. In Mid-Valley we [Christina, Tommy, Carmen, Boon Hua and Hui San] go a lot of shop, and i realized that Christina knew so much on luxury products [next time if i do not know marketing stuff about luxury goods sure i know who to find. Hehe...joking only]. We went to other shop and Zara shop. Inside the Zara shop me and Tommy go test cloth at the male section and Christina, Carmen and Hui San went to female section [Boon Hua is missing at that time, and I am searching him and failed]. I find a jacket that i like quite much, but then when i try, it seems like not suite to me then Tommy said he want to try that jacket also and it was suite for him. Before we leave the shop, Carmen and Tommy both buy cloths which seems so similar just like couple cloths.

But then, at the beginning Boon Hua seems like very bored, and I worried about him. I am tried to make him happy but it was no effect at all, I even worried about how if I make the situation more worse? However, I am have a relieve when saw that Boon Hua feel better after we having another meal at food court. We go back to Subang and Boon Hua fetch us to Puchong to have our dinner, it was Rm 11 but we very full and satisfied with our dinner.

Believe

2008-05-05T10:01:00.000-07:00

Today Christina have ask me a very meaningful question, she ask who do u trust the most in this world? Is that your own father? This question really trick me. Even myself also unable to determined it, because I am not even trust my own family. Funny right?
This remind me about an old friend of mine [Wai Sim] she have said that even believe, in between still have a word of lie. What is believe? Is that really important? For me, it was really important to determined are the person responsible or not. The level of trustworthy is based on the level of responsibility. Need a person to believe another they must take the first step, but most of the time people will get use of this chance to modified, in another word to use this naive person. In this world there are nothing perfect, no one dare to said that he or she will totally trust a person. Responsibility are needed to believe a person. What do i mean? Nice question to ask. When you trust someone you need to responsible for your action of trusting them, when you get know that you trust the wrong person you can not blame others. It was because nobody ask you to trust them. We must always be responsible for our action. Sometimes it was better to be lonely, not because proud of ourself, but to avoid conflict happen and protect ourself. The conclusion is human beings are not a responsible organism, human can not be trusted, and as Wai Sim said: "Even in believe, there still have lie in between"

Friends.

2008-05-03T23:31:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine told me this and i very agree with her, because last time another group friends of mine behave same and even my house mate. She say:

原来一直以来我都错了,原来在这个世界上已经没有了"好人"了,他们都绝种了。原来不是你对人家好他就会对回你好的；天真的是我自己而已,明明他已经摆出一副很讨厌你的样子了, 那为什么那还要去惹他们啊?我知道,这一切都是我自己拿来的,你当人家是好朋友,可是人家呢?人家当你屎都不如啊...熟语说得好："飞蛾扑火,自取灭亡"。呵...我终于都了解了...无论你对人家多好,他们始终当你是他们的"功课棋子"而已咯,现在这个这么现实的社会里已经没人当谁是好朋友了,现在这个社会中,你不害人就轮到别人害你了。话说回来我还要感谢他们让我上了这一堂宝贵的课,不然我可能到现在还是傻呼呼的去对别人很好,当他们是宝,当他们是最重要,最要好的朋友呢。从这一分这一秒开始,我发誓,我不会再那么傻,那么白痴,在这个世界上再也没有一个人能让我相信,让我依赖了。

How much u know about human beings behavior and the reality? I knew a lot~ For those my true friends, take care~ I am hatred with this kind of situation already and i knew it was hurts.

Stay Home.

2008-05-01T12:56:00.000-07:00

My dad, suppose come here to visit me today, because he have one day holiday, but he is not coming because my mom have something to deal with. Because of this, I have miss a lot of opportunities to being with my friend. Thus I am only able to go no where, it was really bored.

Unpredictable.

2008-04-30T12:18:00.001-07:00

Thursday is coming, but all assignments not done yet. All about thousands of words, I am so lazy to start it. Wasting my time to enjoy the sunset, sounds nice, but in deep of my heart is such a disappointed and lonely. I am now so desperate to buy a new phone so can I take picture and record something memorable. The management first assignment, I have failed, but my friend Kai Boon never trusted that is truth, because I am the one guide him to finish his assignment and he get distinction yet I failed. Sometimes, things just happen unpredictable, nobody know what will happen next, everything can become upside down may be just in a moment and no one will be able to explain why.

Assignment Making Me Crazy.

2008-04-29T09:30:00.000-07:00

The assignment result for management have came out, I found out that i get grade F1 [Failed, grade before pass]. When I knew that i failed, I am felt so bad. At the moment, I am totally heart broken. What a sad day...

Marketing Individual Assignment 2.

2008-04-26T23:48:00.000-07:00

Start my second individual assignment of marketing at 11 a.m, but about 15 minute later i fall asleep [like a pig]. Then i only wake up at 3 p.m to have my lunch, and after that i continue doing my assignment at 4 p.m then done at 5 p.m something. Anyways, my whole body's muscle still pain and not yet recover because the beg i brought back yesterday at lease 20 kg. T.T...

Back to Bentong.

2008-04-25T23:31:00.000-07:00

After I have attended the prize giving ceremony, I get the grand prize [nothing difference just have extra files and pen. =.=]. In the evening, I have to rush back to Bentong, I had to bring two heavy bag which contain my books and laptop walk to ktm station, really very tired till all my cloths wet of my secondly school friend at Titiwangsa bus station.

Go Singing.

2008-04-24T05:28:00.000-07:00

I follow my friends Carmen, Hui San, Tommy, Juan and Phang go sing karaoke at New Way after we go for the career talks [main purpose =take goodies. Hehe...] then we go singing at karaoke from 2 something till 7 something o. I observe that Phang always sing those sad songs, I also do not know why, all those sad songs made my mood down. I am very tired, go there for listening them sing and of course I sing also.
Do not knowing the reason, tis is the second time i go karaoke but I do not have mood to enjoy. However, we have take some picture at there.

Dim Sum so nice...

2008-04-23T21:04:00.000-07:00

Morning after marketing lecture once again i follow Boon Hua's BMW X5 to USJ. This time Tom [Boon Hua] bring me to USJ to have my lunch -Dim Sum. A lot of Tom's friend are following [female friends], two cars use to fetch 7 people each car. Haha...
There are 12 girls and 2 guys included me, we have order a lot of Dim Sum, porridge and some of us order Loh Mai Kai. It was so long period of time I never eat Dim Sum already, all the foods is so nice. Anyways, while I am enjoy my foods I am realized some of my friend very quiet and I am worried of her. So happy can have my lunch with so many friends. And then I am think it was a bit expensive, Rm 10. However I am satisfied with it because of who I have my lunch with not because of the meal, but the meal is not bad.

awareness.

2008-04-22T10:56:00.000-07:00

Just so lonely as normal, Tuesday is always the day of marketing short quiz. My short quiz's result is so inconstant, the first is 1.5, then 3.5, follow by 1, fourth week was only o.5 [cry] but then last week is 4.5 and for this week I am confidence to get higher score. At the same time, we have our group presentation as well. A friend of mine, Christina Lim I am was impress with her presentation, she is my group representative for this week. The day before the presentation she told me she not sure what to do, then I am a bit worried for her, but she able to present it well. No wonder she was one of the highest scorer for our first individual assignment among all UniSA students.
After marketing tutorial class, we have two hours of block lectures, then we are given a period of three hours break time [It was so long] and I am only the one walk lonely because I loss all my friend's track, and some of them are having fun at Carefour [a hypermarket in Subang Jaya]. So sad to know about it as the result I am not follow them always. Tom who also as known as Boon Hua, he drive a BMW to lecture hall after the three hours break, with some of my friend [the gang who go Carefour]. He has became the focus point of all students because of his car, and I am also admit that the curiosity of testing what so special about luxury cars and the behavior like to showing off of mine encourage me to follow his car to go home. I am feel so proud when all students look at us, who sat inside Boon Hua's BMW [included Hui San, Tommy and carmen. Anyway, I am realized that the car was not mine, so nothing for me to proud with] and I am so jealous with Tom, he is so lucky. However, may be he is not lucky, or just I am so unfortunate only.

tiredness.

2008-04-21T20:21:00.000-07:00

T.T... Lecturer finish at 7 p.m. very tired. Every break time sure have students leave the lecture hall, where got people can hold on for 6 hours lecture? Anyways, I am attend it until the lecture ends, so tired. During the first 2 lecture hours, I am admit that I am fall asleep. Haha... But then the next 4 hours, I am searching for someone every minute unawareness and remind about what my friend told me in the morning. On the same time, I realized that i have a extra ordinary ability. I able to searching for a person, listening to lecture, response to lecturer, analysis people personality and breathing at the same time. I feel so surprising the first time i can pay attention totally to all the thing in a same time, but one thing i do not like about it is concentrate on so many thing in a same time made me feel like time run so fast. So fast i need to leave already. Haiz...

busy sunday.

2008-04-20T00:11:00.000-07:00

I am happy that Mak have found back his watch and a girl that i like chat with me today. Anyways, I am now feel very tension because I am just realized that i have a lot of homeworks have not done and do not know how was my group preparation for this week marketing presentation going on. So stress, I am wish that if I have extra time to settle all my homeworks and assignment.

hate cheater.

2008-04-19T22:30:00.000-07:00

Today i swim again [actually is playing water only, because i do not know how to swim.XD] but then a while only. A girl, who i do not know how she looks like and who is she suddenly msn me and send message saids that she miss me and like me. It was not the first time and it made me so hatreds, is that a joke or whatever? I thinking that she is cheating me. Haiz... Why the one we hope they will say like us never said so but always there are other said so to us? Then my new roommate who just arrive here last night, go shopping with friends for whole day [wai kye] he is such a nice guys but i can guess how lonely he was when mixed up with all house mate that converse in other language. Anyways, i am going to spend more time with him so he not lonely, at lease thats what i can do to decrease his loneliness.

back to hometown.

2008-04-18T23:49:00.000-07:00

Today I have presentation, and I saw something disgusting and get scold by someone a bit dumb. After that, me and my friend [ Tommy, Mak , and Juan] went back to Raub to settle some problems. Then we stop by Mak's village and we able to spend our time in the half waterfall river to play water. At the same time, Mak's old friend as known as Roti and Chui Ting also follow, we have such a fun time to enjoy, it was so nice until i do not want to leave~ After that, on our way to Subang they have a visit to my house. Anyways, it end up with Mak's watch missing. Haiz...

lonely day...

2008-04-17T23:30:00.000-07:00

Haiz... Today i am actually do not want to wake up, but i am still wake up go to library do my management assignment and for discussion for the Starbucks assignment. However, only two girls of my group turn up in library. Sometimes, i wondering what i have done until she so do not like me, anyways is ok. Today is so lonely, none of my group member attend the lecture today so i have to sit myself; the worst thing ever happen is I chosen by teacher to read out a text. Anyways, one thing that i can convince myself to not disappointed was that i meet a girl and she got online today. She is so cute, I m feel not so bad mood already when i meet her even for a second, and she on lining and we chat a lot, it made me feel so much better~ i know more about her today~ hehe~

1st time on blog.

2008-04-16T20:33:00.000-07:00

16/4, wednesday
Finally, i have my own blog. Anyways, one more thing i not satisfied , I feel that my blog url a bit weird and not perfect enough. Thanks to Carmen, she help me a lot in naming of my blog. She is true frinend of mine, first time there are a person helping me so much in my responsibility on something and caring of me. However, i am wondering what to do with this blog afterall. I never write blog before, so now a bit crazy.